Microsoft to hand out free phones to bloggers

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Microsoft today announced that they will give away 1.001 of their upcoming zPhonez. Of all winners, one special candidate will be invited to an exclusive 2-hour one-to-one session on subtle marketing with Steve Ballmer.

All Bloggers are encouraged to participate.

In order to claim your free zPhonez, you have to write and publish a blog entry entitled “Hey, Steve, you schmuck”. In the text you have to favourably compare the zPhonez to Apples yet-to-be-released iPhone.

The winning blogs will be contacted by one of Microsoft’s employees, who will post a comment favourable to Microsoft and its awesome software.

If more than 1.001 bloggers should participate, blogs run on proprietary Microsoft software will be served first. Blogs run on Linux are excluded from this offer.

The photograph shows the zPhonez with charging station, external attenae, wired speaker, tape-recorder, plug-in numeric keyboard, troubleshooting manual, handbook vol. 1, 2 and 3, and subscription-only update-service. If voice-input is required, you can purchase a seperate zMicz (download and installtion of a software update is required). A reduced-size mobile edition of Windows Vista OSMob 07 is installed on the 2.5 TB harddisk (32 MB available after installation). The required dongle, which acts as protection against piracy, can be seen in the picture. For added mobility, a zHandlez 2.0 has been installed. Not visible, the lead-acid batteries are tucked away at the bottom of the unit. They serve not only as a DRM by limiting the mobility of the zPhonez by adding a mere 16.9 kg of weight, but offer an industry-first 1.8 hours of standby. An additional, fee-based virus-scanning service is expected to be announced within Q4 of 2009.

Update: If you do not yet have your own blog, you can read Douglas Karr’s article to get you started.