Fun with non-english Directors

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Recently, at a meeting of the camera section of the BECTU, one DP told me the following story:

He was shooting a film with an Italian director in Australia. One day this director came up and asked him “Shoot-a se lens cap-e” (to be read with an Italian accent.)
Our DP thought this to be slightly odd, but then realized that Italian directors might just be that: Odd. So he put the cap onto the lens and rolled 5 feet. He then thought “That can’t be what he’s looking for”. So he got the grip to put a little stand a few inches away from the camera, put the lens cap on top of it and asked the gaffer to put up a light. Once he had rolled another couple of feet, the director walked on set and asked “What-e are you doing-e? I sought-e you were shooting-e se lens cap-e” to which the DP replied “I just did shot the lens cap.”
After he had settled down, the director explained: “The landscap-e, not the lens cap!”

Martin Weiss