Crew jokes

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It’s been a while that I posted crew jokes, so here comes a fresh batch:

Why was the dolly invented?
To teach grips how to walk upright.

Why don’t DP’s smoke?
Because it takes them 6 hours to light it.

How many DP’s does it take to change a light bulb?
One, they just hold up the bulb and the world revolves around them.

How many Sound Recordist’s does it take to change a light bulb?
One, as long as he doesn’t have to stand up.

How many Account Executives does it take to change a light bulb?
“What do you think?”

How many Art Directors does it take to change a light bulb?
“Does it have to be a light bulb?”

How many writers does it take to change a light bulb?
“I’m not changing a damn thing!”

How many Producers does it take to change a light bulb?
“A light bulb is not in the budget!”

How many Teamsters does it take to change a light bulb?
“Four; you got a problem with that?”

How can you tell when a producer is lying?
His lips move.

What does an AD use for birth control?
His personality.