crew-joke

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During a shot or a rehearsal (I can’t remember) I called out “boom” when the mic dipped into frame, only to have my dolly grip suddenly boom the dolly arm up, practically grinding my head into the low ceiling… On another show, I had the camera armed out over a pool table, and the dolly grip (not looking as he was trying to move the dolly) boomed the camera down into the expensive tabletop and crushed the assistant’s front box (which the production tried to refuse to replace). Ahh, the joys of low budget film making…
David Mullen

Dear Ann Landers,

I am a freelance spark. My parents live in the suburb of Seatoun and one of my sisters, who lives in Palmerston North, is married to an Australian.

My Father and Mother have recently been arrested for growing and selling marijuana and are currently dependent on my two sisters, who are prostitutes in Auckland.

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I was operating a shot a few weeks ago, where the Director was directing a child actress while we were shooting (it was MOS). We were in a hurry to finish the coverage on this scene. He was telling the actress what to do while we were rolling — “directing on film”. The shot was of her cutting and pasting a picture on top of a dollar bill, and doing other sorts of “graphic design” stuff. Here’s how the direction went:

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One day while filming outside in a park, we were all ready to roll. I had the shot lined up, the actors were in place, composition was nice. Except the sun wasn’t where I wanted it to be. I knew that moving the camera and resetting the shot would just take too much time. So I leaned over, and asked my gaffer if I could borrow his gloves, as I had left mine home. Read the rest of this entry »

My favourite story is about Antarctic explorer and photographer/cinematographer Frank Hurley. In 1932, shooting newsreel footage in Canberra for Cinesound News, he told his assistant “Never mind the camera, just fix your eyes on the lake. Don’t look away for a second.”
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I just love this one!

This is a special calendar for handling Hollywood production work. But it can easily be alterated for use on productions around the globe.